Fruit That Lasts · Jul 30, 2026
Most of us learned what love was long before we ever opened a Bible. We learned it from movies and fairy tales, where love was a feeling that swept in and fixed everything.
The trouble is what happens when we carry that expectation into real life. When we ask a spouse or a friend or a family member to be the thing that fixes us, they will always fall short. Not because they failed, but because only Jesus was ever able to love like that.
If you have felt that gap, this week's episode is for you.
In Episode 30 of the Grounded Growth Podcast, Nicole and Stephanie open our new Fruit That Lasts series with the first fruit of the Spirit, love. Over the next nine episodes we are slowing down to study the fruit of the Spirit, not as a checklist of behaviors, but as the evidence of a life abiding in Christ.
Galatians 5:22-23 tells us the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.
Notice it says fruit of the Spirit, not fruit of our effort. These are not personality traits we manufacture or manifest on a good day. They are the Holy Spirit's work in the life of someone who belongs to Jesus. It is His strength, not ours. And we begin with love, because every other fruit grows out of it.
Love is not simply being nice. Biblical love is choosing another person's good, even when it costs you. In John 15, Jesus says that abiding in Him produces fruit, and then immediately commands us to love one another as He has loved us. The closer we stay connected to Jesus, the more His love naturally overflows into our relationships.
Sally Lloyd-Jones describes God's love in The Jesus Storybook Bible as His never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love. That is the love we have received. That is the love we are called to reflect.
Some days we fail at this before we even get out the door. Impatience is the first reaction, not love, especially with the people closest to us.
It helps to remember that even Paul wrestled with this. In Romans 7 he admits that the good he wants to do, he does not do, and the very thing he hates is what he keeps doing. If Paul struggled, the rest of us can feel a little less alone in it.
Love is hard because it asks us to set ourselves aside, the way Jesus talked about denying ourselves, and everything in us resists it. Loving someone well usually means laying down what we want so we can actually put them first.
Sin also curves our hearts inward. We instinctively protect ourselves instead of sacrificially serving others. We naturally drift toward loving people when it is easy, or when they love us well in return. And when someone stops serving us, we live in a culture that tells us to cancel them. That is not what Christian living calls us to. It calls us to turn our hearts toward that person in prayer, and often to practice the self control of not saying the thing we want to say.
Sometimes love speaks hard truth, because it genuinely desires another person's good. Even when we do not feel like it. That is the hard part.
And when we are running on empty, we have nothing left to give. That is usually the sign that we have been trying to love in our own strength instead of staying close to the One who is love.
Most of us have heard this passage read at a wedding. Maybe it was read at yours. And so we assume it is about marriage, about the love two people promise each other.
But the whole passage is about God's love.
Jesus is patient. Jesus is kind. Jesus is not self seeking or easily angered.
Here is the honest part. We are not always patient. We are not always kind. We are often self seeking and we do become easily angered. Read this way, 1 Corinthians 13 stops being a standard we perform and becomes a mirror that shows us exactly how much we need Jesus.
Instead of listening, we jump to fixing. Instead of assuming the best, we assume motives. Instead of serving, we start keeping score. We become impatient, easily offended, and quick to defend ourselves. Those are the red flags that something is not aligning.
It looks like snapping at our kids over something small, then acting like everything is fine instead of just stopping to say I am sorry. It looks like going quiet with someone instead of telling them what is actually bothering us, and then wondering why the distance keeps growing.
Think of Martha in Luke 10, so busy serving that she became irritated with her sister Mary and even with Jesus. Her heart was not bad. She was just doing good things in a frustrated spirit. Most of us are more Martha than we want to admit.
And it is one thing to recognize it. It is a whole other thing to go seek reconciliation with that person and apologize, for the assumption you made, or for talking too much, or for whatever it actually was.
What steadies us is that God is never caught off guard by our failures. Faith Chang writes in Peace Over Perfection that He never had illusions about our goodness to begin with, so He is not up in heaven disappointed. He already knew exactly who He was calling. That frees us to love honestly, one imperfect day at a time.
One of the clearest pictures is the woman caught in adultery in John 8. The religious leaders dragged her out in front of everyone, stones already in their hands, ready to make an example of her.
Jesus did not join the crowd. He knelt down and wrote in the dust, then said that whoever was without sin could throw the first stone. One by one, they walked away.
Then He turned to her, a woman braced for condemnation, and told her He did not condemn her either. Go, He said, and sin no more. He gave her grace and a way forward in the same breath.
That is the love we want to give people. Not ignoring what is wrong, but refusing to define someone by their worst moment, the way Jesus refused to define her by hers.
We see it with Peter too. He denied even knowing Jesus three times on the worst night of His life. After the resurrection, Jesus did not shame him. He made him breakfast on the beach and gently gave him his calling back in John 21. That is the kind of love that changes a person.
Start with Jesus before you start with people. You cannot pour out a love you have never slowed down to receive. Wake up and reach for the Bible before the phone.
Look at the person right in front of you. Love is not humanity in theory, it is the actual people in your home and your day. We get so wrapped up in email and group texts and next week's schedule that the people in the room become background. Turn on do not disturb, put the phone down, make eye contact, and let them feel seen.
Listen before you fix. Ask the question and truly wait for the answer instead of jumping to a solution. Use open ended invitations like tell me more, explain what you mean, describe what that has felt like. Then listen without interrupting, and validate before offering advice.
Ask what they actually need. In heated moments, the most helpful question is often the simplest one. What are you looking for from this conversation? What do you need from me right now? Sometimes a person does not want the problem solved. They want someone to feel it with them. The solution can wait until tomorrow.
Lead with relationship before correction. Before a hard conversation, say the true things first. I value our friendship. I love you. I am for you. Can I share something I have noticed?
Lead with humility. Be the first to forgive, the first to apologize, the first to serve. People remember how you made them feel long before what you said.
1 John 4:19. We love because he first loved us.
Everything begins there. We do not initiate love. We respond to the love we have already received from Christ. It is the reason we are able to love even our enemies, because we have received the full love of Christ ourselves.
Jesus loved first. He loved sacrificially. He loved consistently. He loved people while they were still sinners. He loved us before the foundations of the earth, before the world was even formed.
Psalm 136 repeats it over and over, for his steadfast love endures forever. Steadfastness is a beautiful word, because it does not describe us. It describes Christ. From creation, from His provision, from His rescue, to His daily care, God's covenant love never changes.
Randy Pope explains it this way in The Answer. Religion says do. The Gospel says done. Religion is legalistic. It adds to the Gospel and tells you that if you do not do certain things, you are no longer saved. That is not what Scripture says. It says Jesus fulfilled all things, that everything was finished and accomplished through His death and resurrection. Our works do not determine our faith. They demonstrate it.
Loving like Jesus does not start with getting it right. It starts with staying close to Him and showing up again, even after yesterday's mess, or an hour ago's mess.
His love reaches you exactly where you are today, the same way it reached the woman at the well and every ordinary person Jesus stopped for.
Maybe this week, instead of asking did people love me well today, ask a different question. How did I reflect Christ's love today? Sometimes that question surfaces feelings that are not comfortable. Take those to the Lord in prayer, and ask Him to help you see the opportunities in front of you and act on them.
Real love is not measured by emotion. It is measured by faithfulness. Every small act of patience, every quiet forgiveness, every encouraging word, every humble apology, every prayer becomes another opportunity to reflect the One who first loved us. And notice the word quiet, because we are called to forgive people even when they never ask us to.
On the days you fall short, remember you do not start over by trying harder. You just come back to Jesus, whose love never stops, never gives up, never breaks, and lasts forever.
Stay grounded and keep growing
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